Title: The Haircut
Spoilers: knowledge of Existence
Disclaimer: I do not own them,
Fox does but if I did there would be a lot more happy Philes.
Summary: Mulder returns to his favorite barbershop.
Andy's Barbershop stands in the middle of downtown D.C. Andy is an older gent' who has three stylist or barbers'
as he still prefers to call them. His shop is busy today but not overwhelmingly so.
Tammy is Andy's only female barber. She is a little over 40 years old, about 5'-8", on a stocky frame. Her
hair is dyed jet black and she has a winning smile with a hearty laugh. The guys all enjoy her being there. She's
part of the atmosphere that is Andy's Barbershop.
Tammy, turns around from washing her hands, her mouth falling open, she spies a tall, lanky man who has just entered
the shop. His chestnut brown hair is just a bit too long on the top and the sides but she'd know him anywhere, it's Agent
"Well look what the cat dragged in Andy! If it ain't Agent Mulder, my favorite Fibbie. Long time no see darlin'."
Tammy runs her hands down her short skirt, pushing back a stray lock of hair.
"Hey Tammy, and it's just Mulder now, not agent anymore." Mulder takes off his jacket and hangs it on the coat rack.
Tammy's eyes size up Mulder while a huge grin breaks across her face.
"So the bureau finally got wise and fired that lovely ass of yers."
"Something like that." Mulder smiles as her walks toward her.
"Climb up here hon'." Tammy says, patting the chair and adding, "Where you been keepin' yer self?"
"I've been out of town. . . on a case." Mulder answers as she places the cape around his neck.
"Must have been a 'far' out case. It's been what, a year, year and a half since you was in here." Tammy runs
her fingers through Mulder's hair and pats his shoulder.
"Tammy, it was out of this world," is all Mulder will tell her.
"Well, we missed ya 'round the shop. I thought ya might have took this gorgeous head of hair some where's else."
Tammy says as she grabs a comb and the shears.
"You know I would never cheat on you Tammy," Mulder says with a grin, adding, "A friend of mine has been cutting it."
Tammy turns Mulder's head, inspecting it.
"He did a good job."
"She, Tammy. It was my partner and she's a pathologist, cutting is her specialty." Tammy combs through Mulder's
hair then begins to cut.
"So Agent Scully was cuttin' yer hair. I 'am' jealous! Why was she cuttin' yer locks, Mulder?"
"I was laid up for a while." Tammy stops, laying her hand on Mulder's jaw, she turns his head,
"You been sick darlin?" her voice thick with concern.
"Something like that." Mulder chuckles.
"You never was one to give me a straight answer, were ya Cutie."
"Sorry Tammy. I guess it comes with the territory."
Tammy returns to cutting Mulder's hair.
"I guess you bein' a Fibbie makes you not want to open up but dammit Mulder, I cut yer hair! I mean next to that
partner of yers I'm the most important woman in yer life, seein's how you ain't got no
girlfriend and all." Tammy
leans into Mulder's ear. "Not that I ain't offered 'nough times."
Mulder shifts in the chair, turning as red as the vinyl its covered in.
"Well, umm, Tammy I guess I do have a girlfriend now." Tammy looks up at his reflection in the mirror.
"Agent Mulder, are you shittin' me! I thought I was makin' some head way with ya. So who is the darlin' that
stole yer heart?" Mulder flashes his eyes to the mirror and catches hers in the reflection then he looks down.
"Actually Tammy, it's my partner, or she was my partner, or I guess she still is."
"Agent Scully, you and that mysterious partner of yers? Well, its damn well 'bout time."
"Why do you say that?" Mulder glances up at Tammy.
"Don't turn yer head hon'," Tammy says turning Mulder's head back. "Come on Mulder! It's me yer talkin' to.
Ya used to rattle on and on 'bout that woman. She must be hot fer yer bod else she would have left that cute lil' ass
of yers years ago."
"I'm not sure about that but she's still here and that's all that's important." Mulder nearly whispers.
"So Agent Mulder went and got himself a girlfriend."
"I guess you could say that."
"So you two got any plans? Bend yer head down hon'." Mulder has to laugh.
"Tammy you should work for the bureau. You're a
damn good interrogator. But yes, actually we're getting married
in two weeks." Tammy stops cutting Mulder's hair and just stares at him in the mirror.
"Two weeks! Damn hell you say! Mulder you never cease to amaze me. We been friends for what five er
"No mention of anything goin' on between you two and then all the sudden yer a real couple." Tammy leans in close
and squeezes Mulder's shoulders. "And I was offerin' you a chance to sail on the 'good ship
Tammy'." Mulder chuckled,
more to himself than to Tammy. "And you go an' git yer self engaged. I can't win fer losin' with ya Mulder."
Tammy trims around the back of Mulder's head, brushing off the hair as she goes. Mulder has his head bent down.
"Tammy, Scully has this big family with a lot of people coming to the wedding." Mulder swallows hard and softy
adds, "I don't have many people, a few friends, a couple of co-workers. . . would you like to come?" Tammy looks at Mulder
with a huge grin on her face.
"Come? Oh ya mean to the weddin'." Mulder turns red at the innuendo. "Of course I'll be there darlin', but don't expect
me to give ya away cause I just might keep ya."
Tammy says as she squeezes Mulder's shoulders.
"Sure Mulder, I'd really like to go. Ya just let me know so's I can get Andy here to give me the day off.
Hell, I'll even give ya a free trim."
"Thanks Tammy." Tammy brushes off Mulder's neck and removes the cape, spinning the chair around.
"Ok former G-man, yer all done." Mulder gets up and removes two bills from his wallet, handing them to
Just then the bell above the door rings. In walks a meticulously dressed, petite, red head with large blue eyes.
In her arms is a similarly blue eyed, wispy haired, baby boy. He is clad in tiny bib overalls and has little red sneakers
on his feet.
"Mulder, you about ready?" The woman asks.
"Come over here." Mulder motions to her. "Tammy this is my. . . this is Dana Scully." Tammy's face breaks out into
a large friendly smile.
"So yer Scully! I finally got a face to go with the name." Tammy thrusts out her hand. "Hi Dana, nice to
finally meet cha." Scully shakes Tammy's hand.
"Nice to meet you too Tammy."
"I cut Mulder's hair." Tammy pipes up.
"I see that. It looks nice." Scully smiles at her. Tammy beams at the compliment. Mulder takes William from
Scully. Turning the little boy toward Tammy, he walks closer to her. "Tammy this is our son, William."
Will pulls two fingers out of his mouth and blinks his big blue eyes at Tammy. A large grin breaks out across his
face before he gets shy and tucks his head into Mulder's chest. Tammy looks closely at Will.
"Well I'll be damn. Oh, I mean, he's a cutie!"
"We think so too." Scully softly touches Mulders arm.
"Mulder, we're going to be late for Williams appointment." Mulder hands Will back to Scully and puts his jacket on. He
ushers Scully and Will toward the door, then stops and says over his shoulder,
"Don't forget two weeks." Tammy leans against the chair.
"I'll be there Mulder. Oh and Dana, you got yer self a good man there." Scully turns back with a blush on her cheeks.
"Yes I know. Thanks, Tammy." Tammy sits down in the chair, twisting it back and forth as she stares
out the window.
"Andy you believe that! Fibbie there went and got
himself a wife and a kid. She sure is pretty and the
kids real cute." Under Tammy's breath she adds, "She sure is lucky." Then slides out of the chair.
"Okay, who's next!"
~ The End~